Parents and College Tours with Teens
Parents, make the most of college tours with your teen. Active involvement helps everyone, but it is important to balance your role with letting your student lead.
Q&A with College Counselors
College counselors often advise parents to stay in the background during campus visits. For example, many counselors say: do not embarrass your child, avoid asking all the questions yourself, and never say “we” when you mean your teen.
Why does this matter? Your teen will attend college, not you. They need to decide whether the campus, community, and school feel like a good fit for them.
However, real life does not always match that advice. Parents sometimes ignore it, either out of excitement or worry.
Lessons from 150+ College Tours
Janice and I have led Custom College Visits for more than 15 years. During that time, we have joined well over 150 U.S. college tours. Some trips included our own kids; others were as counselors scouting schools for clients.
On those visits, we have watched many parent–teen pairs. For every quiet parent who hangs back, there is another who pushes forward, asks awkward questions, or rushes a family through 18 campuses in 10 days.
That kind of schedule skips real quality time. Instead, it is better to focus on a smaller list of key schools and spend meaningful hours on each campus.
Guidelines for Successful College Tours with Teens
Parents have shared thoughtful feedback from the trips we planned. Combined with our experience, here are some practical tips for parents on college tours with teens:
- Plan detailed itineraries. Know where you are going, when you need to be there, and who you will meet. This reduces stress and sets clear expectations.
- Give your teen space. They might refuse to get out of the car or dislike the tour guide’s socks. Take a deep breath. Pushing them in the moment rarely works.
- Stay active but smart. Ask your own questions about safety, student services, or college visit planning services. Do this at a different time. Let your teen explore alone first and agree on a spot where you will meet later.
Common sense matters. Never embarrass your child or the tour guide. At the same time, do not be afraid to ask tough questions, because a poor college fit can harm your teen’s future.
Make College Tours Memorable
College road trips can build strong bonds between parents and teens. Parents add value as an extra set of eyes and ears, and they also help manage logistics so students can focus on the experience.
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